Her Poison
by Page14
Summary: Bella and Edward's everlasting love has just begun to blossom, but can Edward remain true with another temptress on the loose? Will their love stay strong, or will it be shattered forever?
1. Chapter 1

Once there was a gurl named Bella so once she was getting huged by her uber sexy sparkly boyfrend ho she did not care about secretly. Edward said "How do you like vampires" and she said "I know but I will tell you later." and Edward left cuz Forks is rainy and he could not sprkle in da rain. And no peeps like da rain except Bella cuz Bella is not really a person. Edward was walking except he was special like a vampire is. Edward walked in shade beneath trees cuz vampires live in coffings for a good time of life.

Underneath the tree he saw a butiful godess woman who looked sort of like Bella except not becuz she looked sort of like me. Edward recognized the gurl as butiful cuz she looked a lot like Edward and Edward is smoky. "Hello I am Poisoin and that's my name I say." She stayed quiet so the Bella would not see them like talk and things. Poisoin was trying to think of things besides of Edward like ponies n laundry n quilts n stuffing so that she would not kiss Eddy cuz she knew he was loveing Bella cuz she had a sixth sense kind of like Edward but not like that cuz she doesn't eat people. Well she tried once but she was not a vampire so she just spit him up kind of in a johny.

Edward loves the butiful gurl and sayd to her, "I am Edward and I love you and someone else but nobody else but no one else so I really like you. And he sayd that when he meant that so it really counted. Then the rain fell and they kissed like in da best movies when rain falled and they both liked it cuz they got to be in da movie. Edward let them to a secret compartment in da tree and no one was there except the man who lived there so they made out for a while.

Unfertunately, they were ignorante cuz da Bella was knocking up the door. "Whos there" asking Poisoin and put her heds to dad or so she could hear the vibratons on there. "I am Bella have you seen my sparkly boyfrend Edward cuz I missed my zoo tycoon time to come look for him." Bella sounded very sincer excpt she was fony cuz she was really thinking about her stuped polar bears. She was concerned cuz polar bears were special to her cuz she used to live in Alaska when she was 2 and thts why she was pale and smalled nice and days where polar bears lived.

Unfurtuntly, Poision thought Bella was cared about Edward wo she hid behind the man who lived there and let Edward go towards with Bella so they could have sex. The next morning no one went to school cuz school is lame and no one goes there except a nerd. Instead everyone went to the beach.

No one liked Bella except Edward cuz he loves her. But today he loved Poisoin cuz he loves her to. Sadlay do she was mad at Edward for having sex with Bella so she wented to get laid a bunch sort of. But she was new and didn't know no guys even do she was butiful and da butiful woman get lated on a bunch of times. When Edward and Poisoin were going to the beach Edward got concerned cuz Poisoin looks like da kind of slut who wants to be da slut can look like. But Poisoin is not a slut cuz sluts are heartless. Edward does not stifle her boobs do cuz then he might get some :]


	2. Chapter 2

When da two goes to da beach Poision goes to meet some new peeps except not Edward's family cuz vampires live in coffins some days except not Edward cuz his coffin is his Volvo. There were some girls but Poisoin wasn't going to kiss them she was a girl since she kissed Edward the only hot one was Jessica, but she was chubby cuz all Jessicas are chubby except they're all hot too which doesn't make sense, unless you're Jessica. Jessica had a friend named Angela but she was a nerd and the reason she wasn't at school was becuz she couldn't fit her heads through the doors. Angela had a friend named Lauren and she was a dwarf.

Lucky there was guys but they were in love with Bella so Poisoin was sad and lonely. She wanted two suduce one of them. The hottest was Jacob. They introduced but then she started cutting his hair and he got a boner so they made out but then he ran away cuz he was a dog and all dogs run away. And Poisoin was sad and lonely but this time she was naked too..

She started crying and Mike said he would take her home but he touched her boob so Edward had to take her. Unfurtunatly while they were driving Edward fell asleep. Cuz all vampires fall asleep in Volvos. Da car drifted to da wrong lane and everything is in slo mo cuz they are crashing and Poisoin is screaming which is bad cuz it makes Edward wake up and also it kinda a makes him hungry which is good cuz he bits the truck killing them and stops it and everything goes back to normal so he eats the fat truck driver and takes Poisoin to a record store cuz he knows da usic will heal her. And it does and he fixes da Volvo and they leave except nothing is the same because Poisoin is driving and its sexy cuz da Edward is sleeping.

Edward leaves cuz he is tired and wants to walk under tree shades cuz sleeping makes vapires tire. Poisoin is driving really fast and sees a dog which she immediately recognizes as Jacob cuz it is really a man and you always have to recognize man especially if they turn into dogs. It starts her tho and she tumbles off da cliff but the Volvo is ok cuz its majic and stops but da Poisoin tumbles anyeway. Jacob she can still see cuz her heck can turn 365 degrees! She is a night owl! Hoot hoot! And Jacob is running fast and he fumps of the cliff in a sexy way you can only do juping off rock and he does not even flail of stuff cuz only gurls can be sclumsey and he is diving in the water. Poisoin is drowning but but then Jacob grabs her and starts climbing da cliff but only with his legs cuz he has to hold Poisoin in his man arms.

"Yay!" says Poisoin " but why did you run away earlier in this book? Was it because you are a dog, and all dogs run away?"

" No, no" says Jacob LOLing, "No I was scared of your love powers! You are so magical in the ways o love!" He tucked a loose strand of Poisoin's auricomous mane behind her ear. Her doe eyes sparkled in the light of the amiable afternoon sun. Poisoin quietly struggled with an overwhelming desire to lean over and kiss him for what seemed like a good five minutes or so when Jacob broke the seemingly enchanted silence, ruining any chance of this story turning itself around and becoming halfway decent.

"Poisoin," says Jacob, "Is dat playa Edwerd yo man now?" Jacob was asking Poisoin and she though bout that n thought bout dat and finally says "well I guess he thinks we are like a itam or stuff but he can go stick his hed in da johny an have a swirli cone cuz you are y true love and i prove that cuz I lost my virgiliaty to you do you hav andy stuff to tell me?"

"Yes, I do." Says Jacob. "I can turn into 3 thangs, a dog, a wolf, and Rocky. Except im not a playa cuz dogs love only one peep. We's loyal."

Poisoin crid for joy cuz he was her true love and so Jacob rock climbed to da top of da clif and they sat down there and Poisoin lost her virgiallity to him for the second time. Then Jacob gave her his watch just like in John Yucker must Die and Poisoin drove home sexily.


	3. Chapter 3

But den Charlie said go to school cuz the popo believe in school… So Poisoin goes to find Edward in da shade to say hey we r ova!

She goes in da tree and oh no! First Poisoin's dress rips on a twig and rips and so shes almost naked. Then she sees Edwerd n Jake makin out! Jeez. "Jacob, Eddy!" she cried Poisoin, "Why are you making out? OH GAWD WTF? Life sucks!"

"Poisoin!" Cried Jacob, "Your dress is ripped? And this sexy BEAST seduced me! I'm being raped!"

"NO." Poisoin was stunned. "What in da HELL do you think you r doing ED." But she was really upset and not angry so she was crying.

Den Edward and Jacob both tried to comfort her by kissing her but instead all three of them started making out. How will these ends? It will end good cuz Poisoin faints for no reason.

"Oh no!" cried the boys, "We FORGOT! She's gonna have da babe." But who's babe was it anyway? Dey take Poisoin to the hospital and out puts the butiful babe. Dey are both ran like Jakob, have vampy teeth n eyes like Edward, dog tails which are retractable. Oh and they have Poisoin's sandy blonde hasir.

"I can't tell whose!" yelled Edward, banging up Poisoin out of frustration.

"Ow." Says Poisoin. She bruises sexily below her left eye like a battlescar.

"YOU. YOU HURT HER!" shouts Jacob, "GET OUT."

Edward skulks away with vampire colonialist. He is feeling sad tho so he trips down the stairs doing backflips and skadillys like a girl. (But he's really a dude.) so everyone laughs. So Edward vamp runs to the door except you can't run in hospitals for fear of hurting hurt peeps so he jogs sorta fast and sexy like a slow vampire that's fat but Edward is got fat, jus smokey.

Poisoin starts to cry and Jake says, "Why are you for guuurl?"

Bella says he is crying on Bella's shoulder. Now and he is!

Jakob says, "How you know?"

She replies, "I have da 6 sense, remember?" and he's satisfied.

Den Poisoin says, "I know how to tell da babies Pa!"

"HOW?"

Genetecal testing!"

OH. Everyone is in awe of Poisoin's smarts. Da doctors tested n den they says… they are both of them's babies! :0 No way! And then they are like this the boy is 2/3 vmpire, 1/6 human, 1/6 wolf. The girl is 2/3 wolf, 1/6 vampire, 1/6 human es da chica! Amazin! Says the doctor from Los Mexicanos.

"OMG!" says Poisoin.

"Miricle Wotks!" Says Jacob.

Poisoin calls Jacob and says into da speaker, "get yer yella no good toboggan inta dis property and he comes but his cheeks are white and not yella. Which cheeks? I'll leave that up to the imagination.;)

"OMG I knew it!" he shouts at the babes. He didn't know it tho.

Poisoin doesn't like shouting and she gets her babes n get outta there.


End file.
